February 2012
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Sometimes I wish I had that mother-daughter relationship some girls have but then I remember that it’s easier when no one really knows much about you.
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I’m terrified of never finding love.
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How I've spent my day:
Watching movies
Eating
Listening to music
How I will continue to spend my day:
Doing homework
Reading
Sleeping
Yup.
Watchs0il:
omg
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And just like that, the months of progress I went through are gone.
I’m back to the same contemplations and the unbearable exhaustion.
But unlike before, I have to go through this on my own because, well, it’s something I can’t get myself to bother people about.
I’m back to closed doors and miles of space in between.
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Would you look at that...
I stayed home.
I don’t want to go to school tomorrow. I am beyond exhausted and I just know I won’t have the energy to get out of bed, much less give a crap about my classes.
I just want to sleep. And if I have to fake sick or whatever to stay home, then I will. I do not want to go to school tomorrow.
And honestly, I deserve at least one day off. I haven’t missed a day since school started...
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I will always watch a movie twice; once to focus on the dialogue and structure, and the second time to focus on the music score and how well it fits into each scene.
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Bummer mood, negative thoughts, low self-esteem, exhaustion, loneliness.
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Things I want:
books
more piercings
soup
more time to sleep
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Everything hurts
I have so much work this week
There goes my weekend
My eye is being all derpy
Had a dream and woke up feeling the exact same way, to the same extent, as I did in said dream
That is not good
At all
We all wear masks
It’s going to be a long week
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My emotions reach a whole new level when I watch movies.
It’s ridiculous.
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I can’t sop listening to Howl’s Moving Castle’s theme.
Someone take me to a ball… Please.
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Did I mention it was the first time I had gone into the ocean in at least 3+ years?
It was so nice.
And now that I’m all showered and clean I will lay in bed and watch TV because, holy fuck, I’m tired.
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Today was fucking awesome!
Bike riding
Kayaking
Beach
Food
Ugh, so happy.
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All set for Oleta.
And now I play the waiting game.
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I need sleep!
But I am wide awake.
Fuck.
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I am so lazy that I am really going to crash on my couch, no blanket or pillow, in jeans and a t-shirt, just so I can avoid having to walk up the stairs.
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Tomorrow:
Wake up at 9
Take an hour or so to put my stuff together, shower, get dressed, etc
Get picked up by Susy
Stop by Publix for food
Take about another hour to drive to Oleta
Bike for a couple of hours
Go kayaking (hopefully)
Maybe go snorkeling
Finally. :D
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Holy fucking shit, that episode.
AND NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE.
Oh man.
The Walking Dead is the only thing that can get me this hyped.
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Sunday:
Homework
Food
Day dreaming
Music
Nostalgia
Laughter
The Walking Dead
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Ever since I was a little girl~ I have wanted to attend a ball and waltz with my ~true love~ and feel like a princess for a night and omg I have never told anyone that but I guess the people of Tumblr know now along with some friends from school that follow me.
It seemed like it was time for the truth to be let out.
